I haven’t written much lately. Lots of things are half-written, half-read and half-thought. The end of 2020 and start of 2021 blurred into one confusing block of time, which has now passed. I had reached the point where anxiety affected me physically. Stomach pain, leg cramps, awake each day at 3am in panic, frantically googling symptoms. Living in a fog of tiredness, yet on high … Continue reading Communal living
I’ve spent a lot of time horizontal recently. Some of which was giving into the need to rest after a draining year. But some of it has been involuntary; being unable to move much due to unexplained pains in my abdomen. It’s not really what I wanted for Christmas, but on the positive side at least I was off work anyway! This particular problem got … Continue reading Bed rest
Sometimes it’s good to make lists. One day this year I started scribbling ‘Things I will do when this is over’. It’s a random assortment that might resonate with others. Also, I want to make sure I don’t forget. 1. Take a DIY course My flat has patio doors which never fitted correctly. It’s a long story. One of those annoying problems that I was … Continue reading A part of the list
It’s December and I’m wearing my leather gloves as the temperature is dropping. I was wearing them constantly in March. For a while they felt like my armour against the fearful global climate. It was a bewildering time and I’m not sure if that time has ended. We block out stressful periods so I remember only snapshots from earlier in the year. The eery feeling … Continue reading Manoeuvres
I can’t remember when I discovered that introversion was a thing. It wasn’t widely recognised during my childhood. But what was recognised was being different. Children were expected to behave in a certain way in social contexts. I was under 5 when it was noted that I did not behave that way. In nursery classes I was shy and would head to a corner of … Continue reading Introspective
It all starts with a few weeks off. I’ve got a rare bit of time to relax out of my usual routine (which from March onwards has never been much of one anyway). I tried to do nothing. But there seems to be a whole host of admin tasks, household maintenance and things I usually put off to deal with. They range from important to … Continue reading Hanging on the phone
The theme of the moment for me is re-evaluation and trying to work out what’s next. Or being ready for anything! The winds are changing, Mary Poppins style, as the events of 2020 continue to turn our way of life upside down. It’s so hard to write about the process of letting go of things in life when you are not sure what will replace … Continue reading Another roll of the dice
The latest contradictory message from the government came with new proposals to reduce obesity. This was hot on the heels of the ‘Eat Out to Help Out‘ plan, encouraging us to go to restaurants in August with a 50% discount incentive. Lose weight, but also eat steak and chips. Stay alert! It’s confusing stuff, considering most of us have experienced hardship this year ranging from … Continue reading Body neutral
We’re in a remote working revolution driven by a pandemic. Thank you 2020. But what does the future of working hold for us? Are things getting better or worse? Office life Like many I’ve spent years working in offices. The first one was a concrete cube on the Hanger Lane gyratory, a massive roundabout in West London. I learned how to navigate office life there … Continue reading Working in the future
I’m angry. It feels good to say it. I only register a small amount of guilt for this unlikeable, unfeminine emotion. Maybe one day I’ll have none. This year I’ve spoken to people in senior jobs where I needed to enlist their specialist skills. These were not just senior professionals but leading, highly paid professionals. Men at the top. And my experiences left me questioning … Continue reading Am I the expert?
